Friday, March 19, 2010

You give and take away...

I suppose the Lord has to take away for you to see what you used to take for granted.

When I think of all of our blessings with Reid my mind always goes back to the song Blessed Be Your Name. I remember hearing this song at church when I was 6 mths or so pregnant, and had just learned of his multicystic dysplastic kidney. I clearly remember, like it was yesterday, holding my perfectly round belly at the time singing at the top of my lungs with tears stinging my eyes "you give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name". The Lord had given us life, and taken away his kidney. He has done this for a reason, unknown at the time, and still now without a clear purpose for our family. I believe it is more strength to grow as a family, and for my husband and I, but we are not quite there yet (who ever is you know?).

Recently, within the last month, Reid joined us for service, sleeping soundly in my arms. Greg Long started singing our song~ Blessed be your name. It was surreal as I held my sleeping, beautiful, healthy 6 month old and again belted out those lyrics and had tears streaming down my face. I am so grateful for my son, and his health, and our blessings. I am so grateful for the trials and tribulations that I have experienced with him, because I can truly sit back and let the love pour into my heart, with little effort on mine or his part. His health is perfect, so worrying and fretting, as I did with Mason isn't a part of our dynamic. As I write this I realize that His purpose is a little more clear. The Lord wanted to me slow down, soak it all in and enjoy the moments I will never get back with my wonderful boys and husband. It is hard sometimes to think that is the only reason, like teaching Reid's mommy to take it easy is worth my son having one less functioning kidney. I just don't think I am that important. I hope Reid's journey teaches us lessons for a lifetime to come.

Reid had his 6 month ultrasound and doctor appointment this morning. His check up went great! His cysts are shrinking and his good kidney is growing at a larger rate to pick up slack. They don't want to see us for the routine 9mth check up, they are waiting till he is a year, because he is doing exactly as he should~ picking up the slack and growing and functioning like any 6 month old boy.

Blessed be Your name....

We went to the park yesterday and took a minute to swing, and soak up the sun and crisp air! My little bit of earthly Heaven!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great blog. I don't know that you know this, but when my son, Ashton, was born 15 years ago one of his kidneys did not work. He had multiple cysts and his kidney was three times as large as it should have been. We went in for surgery at 8 weeks old to remove the non functioning kidney. Luckily the doctors were able to repair it instead of taking it out. We spent numerous hours at TX childrens for surgery, ultra sound, other treatments x rays etc. Well, I remember the day when the doctor said we didn't have to come back for five years. It was so amazing. Ashton has made a full recovery and is a perfectly normal (lol) teenager. Your time will come too. If you ever need someone to talk to that has "been there", feel free to contact me.
Karen (Hine) Rocker
PS I remember when you were so little and I gave you swim lessons...I guess you will always be that little girl to me.